Medical jokes

"Please remove your blouse and bra," says the doctor to the young blonde, placing his stethoscope around his neck.

When she is ready, the doc says, "Big breaths."

"Yeth," she replies, "and I'm only thixthteen!"

"Doctor, everytime I sneeze I have an orgasm!"

"Are you doing anything for it?"

"Snorting pepper."

Willy, a mental patient, mimes driving a car as he runs around the halls of an asylum. An orderly turns the corner and asks Willy what he's doing.

Willy replies, "I'm going to Chicago for the weekend."

The orderly chuckles and enters another patient's room and catches Bob pleasuring himself.

When asked what he is doing, Bob replies, "I'm screwing Willy's old lady while he's away in Chicago."

After a visit to the doctor, a man returns home and tells his wife he has approximately six hours left to live. Of course, they go straight to bed and have some amazing, athletic sex. Half an hour later, the man asks his wife if they can have sex again. They do, and it's even more vigourous and ferocious sex. An hour later, the man asks his wife for sex again, and they have a ball-busting, rib-breaking round of sex. An hour later, the man wants it again.

"No way," says the wife. "I have to get up in the morning. You don't."