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what p.m.s. stands for
 
 
  1. Pass My Shotgun
  2. Psychotic Mood Shift
  3. Perpetual Munching Spree
  4. Puffy Mid-Section
  5. People Make Me Sick
  6. Provide Me with Sweets
  7. Pardon My Sobbing
  8. Pimples May Surface
  9. Pass My Sweatpants
  10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
  11. Plainly, Men Suck
  12. Pack My Stuff
hmo in heaven
 
 
An eye doctor, a heart surgeon and an HMO executive die and are in heaven. God asks the eye doctor why he should be let into heaven, and the doctor explains to God that he helped people save or regain their sight. God says, 'Welcome to heaven, my son.'

God then asks the heart surgeon what he had done in life that should allow him into heaven. 'I saved people from death from heart attacks and heart disease,' the doctor replies. 'Welcome to heaven, my son,' God says.

God then turns to the HMO executive. God asked him what he was, and the man replied that he worked for an HMO. 'Welcome to heaven, my son,' says God, 'but you have to leave in two days.'

viagra + eyedrops = ?
 
 
Why'd the man take Viagra eyedrops?

Because he wanted to look hard!

third opinion
 
 
Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, 'I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.'

Doctor Fitzpatrick says, 'I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.'

Doctor Ahn says, 'I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.'


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