Medical jokes

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Medical


which end up?
 
 
Yo mama so ugly, when she was in labor the doctor asked which end!
really sick
 
 
There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor.

The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine.

The next day the doctor called and the wife answered.

"I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said.

"I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample".

After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"

"He needs a pair of your underwear".

milking it
 
 
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.

The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.

"Breast fed," the woman replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.

Motioning for her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is under weight! You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his grandmother, but I'm glad I came."

why did the city build a graveyard...
 
 
Q: Why did the city build a graveyard across the street from the retirement home?

A: So all the old people can see there futures!


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