Medical jokes

Jokes » medical » jokes 32

Medical


the sick husband
 
 
There was a husband and a wife. The husband was very sick, so the wife took him to the hospital and the doctor checked him out. Then the doctor asked the wife to come into his office so they could talk about what was wrong with her husband.

He explained that, if she wanted her husband to live, she would have to pamper him, wait on him hand and foot, and not challenge him or argue with him -- her husband needed absolute rest and no stress whatsoever. However, if her husband did any work or moved around much or got upset about anything, he would die. The doctor asked if she understood these conditions, and the wife assured him that she did.

When the wife came out, the husband asked her, “so what is the matter with me? Am I going to die?” And the wife said, “Yes, honey, I'm afraid you're going to die.”

dirty knees
 
 
What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?

The head Nurse!

a brief history of medicine
 
 
I have an earache.

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2003 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

ask the doctor
 
 
A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly said, 'My husband wants me to ask you...,' to which the doctor replies, 'I know, I know,' placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. 'I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.'

'No, that's not it,' the woman confessed. 'He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.'


Page 33 of 73     «« Previous | Next »»