Medical jokes

Jokes » medical » jokes 60

Medical


hmo in heaven
 
 
An eye doctor, a heart surgeon and an HMO executive die and are in heaven. God asks the eye doctor why he should be let into heaven, and the doctor explains to God that he helped people save or regain their sight. God says, 'Welcome to heaven, my son.'

God then asks the heart surgeon what he had done in life that should allow him into heaven. 'I saved people from death from heart attacks and heart disease,' the doctor replies. 'Welcome to heaven, my son,' God says.

God then turns to the HMO executive. God asked him what he was, and the man replied that he worked for an HMO. 'Welcome to heaven, my son,' says God, 'but you have to leave in two days.'

p. diddy + kenny g. = ?
 
 
What do you get when you cross P. Diddy with Kenny G.?

An aneurysm.

viagra + eyedrops = ?
 
 
Why'd the man take Viagra eyedrops?

Because he wanted to look hard!

george and harry's european vacation
 
 
Two friends, named Harry and George, go on a trip to Europe, where they have a great time. When they get back, Harry meets up with his pal Phil to tell him all about it.

"One of the first places we went to was the leaning tower of Pisa. It was really neat."

"Cool. Did you go up inside it?"

"No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did go to visit the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris. That was really neat."

"Cool. Did you go up inside it?"

"No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did go to visit Big Ben in London."

"Cool. Did you go up inside it?"

"No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did attend mass at the Vatican."

"Really? What happened?"

"Well, the Pope made the sign of the cross, and George dropped his right crutch, and he dropped his left crutch."

"Cool. What happened then?"

"George fell on his ass. He's a cripple, you know."


Page 61 of 73     «« Previous | Next »»