nursing home
Did you hear that nursing homes are starting to give Viagra to the old men living there?
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It's to keep them from rolling out of bed.
2 weeks to live
A man goes to the doctor and gets a check up. The doctor finishes the exam and tells the man, "I have some bad news, you only have have about two weeks left to live".
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The man is shocked. He asks the doctor, "Is there is any thing that he could do to make the time that I have left more tolerable?"
The doctor thinks for a moment. "There is one thing that you could do".
"Just name it, I'll do whatever it is". He tells the man to take alot of mud baths, two or three a day.
The man looks at his doctor asks, "Will that help my condition"?
The doctor says, "No, but it will get you used to the dirt."
peek-a-boo
A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He says to the doctor, "I've felt so weird lately, Doc, can you tell me what's wrong?"
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The doctor replied, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"
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