Medical jokes

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nursing home
 
 
Did you hear that nursing homes are starting to give Viagra to the old men living there?

It's to keep them from rolling out of bed.

stop, doc! i can't take any more!
 
 
My doctor is so funny - he keeps me in stiches!!!
2 weeks to live
 
 
A man goes to the doctor and gets a check up. The doctor finishes the exam and tells the man, "I have some bad news, you only have have about two weeks left to live".

The man is shocked. He asks the doctor, "Is there is any thing that he could do to make the time that I have left more tolerable?"

The doctor thinks for a moment. "There is one thing that you could do".

"Just name it, I'll do whatever it is". He tells the man to take alot of mud baths, two or three a day.

The man looks at his doctor asks, "Will that help my condition"?

The doctor says, "No, but it will get you used to the dirt."

peek-a-boo
 
 
A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He says to the doctor, "I've felt so weird lately, Doc, can you tell me what's wrong?"

The doctor replied, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"


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