Medical jokes

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. The farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!"

The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week."

The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts - although still silent - stink terribly."

The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing..."

This guy is in the hospital with two broken legs that he got from a car crash.

The nurse comes into the room that he is in and says that she has good news and bad news.

The guy asks for the bad news first.

The nurse says, 'We're going to have to remove your legs.'

Then the guy asks for the bad news.

The nurse says, 'The guy beside you wants to buy your sneakers.'

A woman met a man at a club and went back to his place for sex. Afterward, she said “You must be a good dentist.” He replied, “How did you know I'm a dentist.” She said, “I didn't feel a thing.”

A woman goes to the hospital, and her doctor gives her a sonogram. He sees the baby and suddenly the baby says, “Are you my daddy?” The doctor is shocked and goes to get another doctor, who looks at the sonogram. The baby says again, “Are you my daddy?” The doctor says, “No, I'm not your father.”
They go to get the dad, the father looks at his baby boy and the baby asked, “Are you my daddy?” And the father says, “Yes, I am!” So, the baby pops out of the mother's womb, picks up his hand, and starts poking the father in the head while saying, “How do you like that?! How do you like that?!”