Medical jokes

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i have some news for you
A man notices a peculiar rash on his chest. The rash continues to get worse and worse, so the man decides to see a doctor. He goes in to the clinic where the staff runs a battery of tests. After several minutes, the doctor comes back in the room and says, “Sir, I've got good news and bad news. What would you like first?”

“Well,” says the man, “I can take it. Give me the bad news first.”

“The rash you have is going to get worse. It will travel throughout your body, eventually even making it to your internal organs. It is a terminal disease, and my guess is you have 30 days to live.”

“My God!” says the patient. “What's the good news?!”

“Well,” says the doctor, “Did you see that beautiful receptionist, the one with the big boobs and the nice butt? I'm dating her!”

stop, doc! i can't take any more!
My doctor is so funny - he keeps me in stiches!!!
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"A doctor?"

"And why's that?"

"Because it's the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill."

cat hospital
Q: Why did the cat go to the hospital?

A: To have a cat-scan done.

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