Medical jokes

What does D.A.M stand for?

Mothers Against Dyslexia.

A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly said, 'My husband wants me to ask you...,' to which the doctor replies, 'I know, I know,' placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. 'I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.'

'No, that's not it,' the woman confessed. 'He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.'

Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, 'How do you really feel? I mean, you're 72 years old, how do you honestly feel?'

'Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, and I just wet myself.'

A lady walks into her doctors office screaming.

She yells, "Doctor, Doctor my breasts are hairy! What do I do?"

The doctor asks, "Well, how long does the hair grow?"

The lady replies, "From here to my penis, but that's a different story!"