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what do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
 
 
What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
They both hope to be human someday.
hillbilly newlyweds
 
 
A newly married hillbilly couple decided they wanted children, but didn't know how to go about it. Questions and conversations with friends and relatives proved no help, until a neighbor said they should go to town and ask the Big City Doctor. The doctor let them look at a child's book about where babies came from, but to no avail. He tried his own explanation but was met with blank stares. Exasperated, he took them to his private office, and showed them a porno movie. This was also useless. Angrily, he ordered the girl to strip, told the man to watch, and had sex with her on the couch.

'Now, do you understand?' he asked.

'I just have one question. How many times a week do I have to bring her in for this?'

through the desert on a man with no ears
 
 
A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company.

It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The last question of the interview was always the same.

"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the first candidate.

"Yes. You have no ears."

He quickly eliminated the first candidate.

"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the second candidate.

"Yes. You have no ears."

He quickly eliminated the second candidate.

"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the third candidate.

"Yes. You're wearing contacts."

Thinking he had found the man for the job he said, "That's correct. How did you know?"

"You can't wear glasses if you don't have any freakin' ears."

hospital donation clinics
 
 
A man and a woman meet in a hospital donation clinic.

The man says to the woman, "What are you here to give?"

She says, "I'm here to give blood. I get paid $5."

The man says, "Oh, I'm here to donate sperm, I get paid $25!" A couple of weeks later they meet again in the clinic.

The man says, "Hi there! Are you here to give blood again?"

The woman puffs her cheeks out and shakes her head.


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