Medical jokes

What do the toes say when they meet?

"There is a fungus among us."

There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice. He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days

"Eat anything and everything you want for the first two days of your diet. Then skip the third day."

So the blonde went home and ate anything and everything she wanted for the first two days, then she skipped the third day.

The next day she went back to the doctor and he asked her, "How is your diet?"

She said, "Well, the first two days were easy but that third day was hard. Doing all that skipping made me really tired."

A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of his fellow dentists were facing. He said that one of his friends was touring a latex glove factory in Mexico, and saw how they make the gloves. One person would stick his hand in the melted latex, walk over to a vat of cooling water, then dip his hand in it to solidify the latex. The glove was then thrown in a finished products box. The dentist's patient was disgusted by the lack of care taken in making the gloves sanitary. Wanting to keep all the patients he could, the dentist didn't mention how they made condoms.

What has 500,000 feet and still can't walk?

Jerry's kids.