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baaaad news
 
 
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.

Patient: Go with the good news first.

Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.

Patient: What!?! How about the bad news?

Doctor: Um... I forgot to tell you yesterday.

regularity
 
 
Woman: I have a problem.

Doctor: Well, are you regular?

Woman: Yes I am. Every day I do a number one at 7:30 in the morning and a number two at 8:30.

Doctor: So, what's the problem?

Woman: I don't get up untill 9:30.

two things in the air
 
 
What two things in the air can make a women pregnant?

Her feet!

yo mama's so fat...
 
 
Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said "To be continued..."

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