Medical jokes

A man and his son are in a car accident and are rushed to the hospital. But when he's wheeled into the OR, the doctor looks at the boy and says "I can't operate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor?

His mother.

A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.

Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.

"Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."

A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.

As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!"

And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, "Down nuts!" And they all sat.

After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" And they all broke into applause and cheers.

Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.

When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.

The assistant replied, "Well... everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, 'PEANUTS!'"

Why'd the man take Viagra eyedrops?

Because he wanted to look hard!