Medical jokes

What do you get when you cross P. Diddy with Kenny G.?

An aneurysm.

After a visit to the doctor, a man returns home and tells his wife he has approximately six hours left to live. Of course, they go straight to bed and have some amazing, athletic sex. Half an hour later, the man asks his wife if they can have sex again. They do, and it's even more vigourous and ferocious sex. An hour later, the man asks his wife for sex again, and they have a ball-busting, rib-breaking round of sex. An hour later, the man wants it again.

"No way," says the wife. "I have to get up in the morning. You don't."

You might be a redneck if you study for a blood test.

An eye doctor, a heart surgeon and an HMO executive die and are in heaven. God asks the eye doctor why he should be let into heaven, and the doctor explains to God that he helped people save or regain their sight. God says, 'Welcome to heaven, my son.'

God then asks the heart surgeon what he had done in life that should allow him into heaven. 'I saved people from death from heart attacks and heart disease,' the doctor replies. 'Welcome to heaven, my son,' God says.

God then turns to the HMO executive. God asked him what he was, and the man replied that he worked for an HMO. 'Welcome to heaven, my son,' says God, 'but you have to leave in two days.'