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ending it all
 
 
An 83-year old woman decided that she'd seen and done everything, and the time had come to depart from this world.

After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she came to the conclusion that the quickest and surest method would be to shoot herself through the heart. The trouble was, she wasn't certain about exactly where her heart was, so she phoned her doctor and asked him. He told her that her heart was located two inches below her left nipple.

So she shot herself in the left kneecap.

having to face the fact
 
 
Dermatologist: Good News my dear, aftr looking through your test results I'm happy to report you will no longer be plagued by pimples.

Girl: Wow! That's great! Why?

Dermatologist: There's no more space.

assisted suicide
 
 
One day there was a 97 year old woman, who wanted to commit suicide but unfortunately she did not know where her heart was.

So the old woman calls up her doctor and asked,'Where's my heart located?'

'On a woman, it's usually located under her left breast,' the doctor replied.

The next day the woman was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with a gun shot wound to the knee.

practice makes perfect
 
 
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?

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