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george and harry's european vacation
 
 
Two friends, named Harry and George, go on a trip to Europe, where they have a great time. When they get back, Harry meets up with his pal Phil to tell him all about it.

"One of the first places we went to was the leaning tower of Pisa. It was really neat."

"Cool. Did you go up inside it?"

"No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did go to visit the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris. That was really neat."

"Cool. Did you go up inside it?"

"No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did go to visit Big Ben in London."

"Cool. Did you go up inside it?"

"No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did attend mass at the Vatican."

"Really? What happened?"

"Well, the Pope made the sign of the cross, and George dropped his right crutch, and he dropped his left crutch."

"Cool. What happened then?"

"George fell on his ass. He's a cripple, you know."

two sperm
 
 
Two sperm are walking down the street. How do you know which one is happy?

It's the one with egg on its face!

the gynecologist's glasses
 
 
Why did the gynecologist go to the eye doctor?

Because things were looking a little fuzzy.

you're so ugly
 
 
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor slapped yo' mama!

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