Medical jokes

The man is shocked. He asks the doctor, "Is there is any thing that he could do to make the time that I have left more tolerable?"

The doctor thinks for a moment. "There is one thing that you could do".

"Just name it, I'll do whatever it is". He tells the man to take alot of mud baths, two or three a day.

The man looks at his doctor asks, "Will that help my condition"?

The doctor says, "No, but it will get you used to the dirt."

They sprayed a field with Viagra, and the prick stood up!

The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

Doctor: 'I have devoted my life to the sick and needy and have had a part in caring for, and healing thousands of poor people.'

St. Peter: 'That's great. Go ahead in to heaven. And what about you, dear?'

Nurse: 'I've supported the good doctor and his patients my entire life as an adult.'

St. Peter: 'Wonderful. Please proceed in with the doctor. And what about you?'

Health Maintenance Organizaton Director: 'I was the president of a very large HMO and was responsible for the healthcare of millions of people all over the country.'

St. Peter: 'Oh, I see. Please go in...but you can only stay two nights!'