Medical jokes

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it's quittin' time
A guy went to the doctor to quit smoking, and the doctor gave him a nicotine patch, which he promptly put on his penis. A couple of weeks, he came back to the doctor's.

"How's it going?" the doctor asked him.

"Great," he replied. "I haven't had a butt in weeks."

guy with frog growing out of his head
A guy goes into a doctor's office with a frog growing out of his head.
"Tell me how it started," says the doctor.
"It started out as a bump on my ass," says the frog.
blonde - mating call
What is a blonde's mating call?


One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, 'There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything.'

After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same.

After hesitating, they all did it.

'Next,' the professor said, 'you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger.'

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