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i need glasses. do i ever
 
 
"Doctor, doctor! I need glasses!"

"You certainly do, ma'am. This is a barber shop."

the inherent hilarity of veneral disease
 
 
Q: What's green and eats nuts?

A: Syphilis

you're so ugly
 
 
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor slapped yo' mama!
flu?
 
 
The patient sat there looking ill and asked, 'Flu?' The doctor replied, 'No, I came on my bicycle actually!'

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