Medical jokes

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Medical


regularity
 
 
Woman: I have a problem.

Doctor: Well, are you regular?

Woman: Yes I am. Every day I do a number one at 7:30 in the morning and a number two at 8:30.

Doctor: So, what's the problem?

Woman: I don't get up untill 9:30.

two things in the air
 
 
What two things in the air can make a women pregnant?

Her feet!

the shooting
 
 
An old lady's husband had just died and she felt their was no reason to live anymore. She called the doctor and asked excactly where her heart was. He told her it should be under her left breast.

That night she went to the emergency room with a shot in the knee.

bacon in my ear
 
 
A guy walks into a doctor's office. He has a sausage coming out of his ear, a waffle coming out of his nose, and bacon coming out of his other ear. He says worriedly, "Doc, what's wrong with me?!?"

The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."


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