Medical jokes

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i need glasses. do i ever
"Doctor, doctor! I need glasses!"

"You certainly do, ma'am. This is a barber shop."

the inherent hilarity of veneral disease
Q: What's green and eats nuts?

A: Syphilis

you're so ugly
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor slapped yo' mama!
The patient sat there looking ill and asked, 'Flu?' The doctor replied, 'No, I came on my bicycle actually!'

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