a brief visit to the doctor
A man and his wife went to the doctor's office and the doctor asked the man for a blood, urine, and feces sample.
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The man was slightly deaf and said, 'What?'
Again, the doctor said, 'I need a blood, urine and feces sample."
The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear:
'Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear!'
bulimic bachelor party
How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
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When the cake jumps out of the girl!
baaaad news
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
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Patient: Go with the good news first.
Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What!?! How about the bad news?
Doctor: Um... I forgot to tell you yesterday.
psychiatrist's best friend
A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to explain his problem. "Doctor, doctor! I've got this problem," the man said. "I keep hallucinating that I'm a dog. It's crazy. I don't know what to do!"
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"A common canine complex," said the doctor soothingly. "Relax. Come here and lie down on the couch."
"Oh no, Doctor," the man said nervously, "I'm not allowed up on the furniture."
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