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two sperm
 
 
Two sperm are walking down the street. How do you know which one is happy?

It's the one with egg on its face!

mr. phillard's twins
 
 
One day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife over to the hospital. As the doctors were prepping his wife, Mr. Phillard's idiot brother Bill arrived to watch the birth. But when Mr. Phillard saw the blood and everything else, he fainted. When Mr. Phillard woke up he was in a bed with the doctor standing above him.

"Mr. Phillard," the doctor said, "you are in the recovery room. Don't worry, your wife is fine and she had twins, a boy and a girl. Because you were unconscious and your wife was still under anaesthesia, she requested that your brother Bill name the kids."

"What! My brother, the idiot! I can't believe you let him! What did he name them?"

"He named your daughter Denise."

"Hey, not bad! I underestimated my brother. What did he name my son?"

"He named your son Denephew."

the gynecologist's glasses
 
 
Why did the gynecologist go to the eye doctor?

Because things were looking a little fuzzy.

two things in the air
 
 
What two things in the air can make a women pregnant?

Her feet!


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