fingers
A man was working with an electric saw when he accidentally sawed off all ten fingers. He quicky rushed to the emergency room. The doctor there told him, “Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do'.”
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“But I don't have the fingers!”
“What! You don't have the fingers!?” said the doctor, “You should have brought them to me. We have all kinds of operations we could have done like microsugery and stuff. We could have put them back as good as new.”
“But Doc, I couldn't pick them up.”
lawyers aren't the only ones to object
Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives?
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A: Their personalities.
first day out
A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital.
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"How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
difference!
What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?
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You come in one and you go in the other!
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