Medical jokes

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Once an abnormal guy went to a doctor. His abnormality was that he had three balls. He thought it to be a reproductive abnormality so he wanted to consult a doctor. But he was a little hesitant to present his situation to the doctor. So he tried to explain it to him indirectly. He said, 'Doctor ,if you combine your and my balls, then the result will be five!' The doctor was amazed to hear that. He stood up and asked the patient, 'You poor guy, have you got only one?'
a dose of hmo's own medicine
A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an HMO have all died and are in line together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter speaks with them and asks what good each has done in their life.

Doctor: 'I have devoted my life to the sick and needy and have had a part in caring for, and healing thousands of poor people.'

St. Peter: 'That's great. Go ahead in to heaven. And what about you, dear?'

Nurse: 'I've supported the good doctor and his patients my entire life as an adult.'

St. Peter: 'Wonderful. Please proceed in with the doctor. And what about you?'

Health Maintenance Organizaton Director: 'I was the president of a very large HMO and was responsible for the healthcare of millions of people all over the country.'

St. Peter: 'Oh, I see. Please go in...but you can only stay two nights!'

army nurse
Q: Did you hear about the army nurse who went to bed eating popcorn?

A: She woke up with a kernel between her legs.

in the back woods of arkansas...
In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.

To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world.

"Whoa there Scotty!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down... I think there's yet another wee one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby.

"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man... It seems there's yet another one besides!" cried the doctor.

The new father scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor. "Do ye think it's the light that's attractin' them?"

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