Medical jokes

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bird it through the grapevine
Have you heard about the man who did it with a parakeet?

He contracted chirpes and the worst thing?

It was untweetable.

taking sides
There was a man who got into a car accident. He was soon rushed to the hospital.

The left side of his body was completely paralyzed.

The doctor said, "He was going to be all right."

a little testy
A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing.

'Doctor, the hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid that you're giving me too much. I've started growing hair in places that I've never grown hair before.'

The doctor reassured her, 'A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?'

'On my testicles, which is something else I want to talk to you about...,' replied the lady.

saving her butt
A man decided to paint the toilet while his wife was away. His wife came home sooner than he expected, used the toilet, and got the seat stuck to her rear. She was understandably distraught about this and asked her husband to drive her to the doctor. She put a large overcoat on to cover the seat before they went.

When they got to the doctor's office, the man lifted his wife's coat to show him their predicament. The man asked, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?"

"Well, yes," the doctor replied, "but never framed."

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