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clinton's safe sex
 
 
What's Bill Clinton's definition of safe sex?

When Hillary's out of town!

windows 666
 
 
Bill Gates dies, and ascends to the Pearly Gates to meet God. God immediately recognizes him and says to him "Bill Gates -- you're a great man. I shall give you a choice of either heaven or hell." Bill Gates tells God that he would like to see both before making a decision.

So God takes Bill Gates down to Hell, where there are beautiful, nubile bikini models, perfect weather, free drinks, and eternal happiness. "That doesn't seem so bad," says Gates. "Let's see Heaven now." God and Gates go to Heaven, which seems to be just a bunch of old, crusty angels flying around and sitting on a few clouds. "I've made my decision," says Gates. "I choose Hell."

Six months later, God goes down to Hell to check on him and finds him hanging above a pit of fire with wild harpies tearing out his intestines. "What happened to all the bikini models and the sun and the fun?" Gates screams. "Oh, that," says God. "That was just the demo."

new canadian flag
 
 
Canada, in view of recent events, will be changing the maple leaf on the flag to a marijuana plant.

That way, the people of Quebec will have good reason to burn the flag.

clinton's interns
 
 
Q: What does Clinton say to interns as they leave his office?

A: Don't hit your head on the desk!

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