News And Politics jokes

Bill Clinton, George Bush and George Washington were on the Titanic.

As the boat was sinking, George Washington heroically shouts, 'Save the women!'

George Bush hysterically screeches, 'Screw the women!'

And Bill Clinton's eyes light up and he says, 'Do we have time?'

Sleeping Beauty, Hercules and Don Juan are sitting around a table discussing who the best person in the world is. Sleeping Beauty claims that she is the best because she is the most beautiful person in the world.

Hercules claims that he is the best because he is the strongest person in the world.

Don Juan claims that he is the best because he has loved the most women in the world.

So they decide to go speak to the wise man and see who is the best. They agree to go in alone so as not to be embarassed in front of the others.

Sleepy Beauty goes in first and came out smiling. She says that she truly is the most beautiful person in the world.

Hercules goes in next and also came out smiling. He says that he truly is the strongest person in all the world.

Don Juan goes in last but when he comes out he is very angry and confused. He exclaims,'Who the hell is Bill Clinton?!?'

Q: Why did Bill Clinton give up the saxophone?

A: Because he had a hor-monica.

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.

"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."

"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"