News And Politics jokes

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News And Politics

xtreme makeovers
Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England." One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in 5 field events in the Olympics." The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States."
bob dole's underwear
At a recent rally Bob Dole was asked if he wore boxers or briefs.

He replied, 'Depends.'
heaven's gate
You know about the 39 Heaven's Gate culters who killed themselves?

They found another one underneath the sink...behind the Comet.

danger in d.c.
What is the most dangerous thing in Washington D.C.?

An intern with a chipped tooth.

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