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the fbi, cia, lapd, and some rabbits
The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling, "Okay, okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit!"

president clinton & the pope
President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an administrative foul-up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope was sent to hell. The Pope explained the situation to the devil who acknowledged the error. The Pope was told, however, that it would take about 24 hours to fix the problem. The next day, the Pope was sent off to heaven. On his way up, he met Clinton who was on his way down. They stopped to chat.

"Sorry about the mix-up" said the Pope. "Though I'm really excited about going to heaven."

"Why's that?"

"I've always wanted to meet the Virgin Mary."

"You're about a day late."

whats the difference between saddam's palaces ...
What's the difference between one of Saddam's palaces and a 50 cent's house?

You know your'e going to find weapons in 50 cent's house.

bush visits a nursing home
President George W. Bush decides it is time to do some public relations at a local Washington DC nursing home.

The President begins his "tour" down the main hallway and passes by a little old man who doesn't seem to notice him.

Sensing this, President Bush backtracks to the resident and asks, "Do you know who I am?"

The little old man looks up from his walker and says, "No, but if you go to the front desk, they will tell you your name."

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