News And Politics jokes

"Well," said the chaffeur, "I've got a good idea. Why don't I give the speech since I've heard it so many times?' So Albert's chauffeur gave the speech perfectly and even answered a few questions. Then, a professor stood up and asked him a really tough question about anti-matter which the chauffeur couldn't answer

"Sir, the answer to your question is so easy that I'll let my chauffeur answer it!"

After staring out the window with a curious look on his face he turns to Laura and says, "Hey Laura, how about I throw a $100 bill out of the airplane and make a person happy?"

Laura replies, "Well, why don't you just throw two $50 bills out of the airplane and make two people happy?"

George W. thinks about this and replies again with excitement, "I know what I'll do! I'll throw five $20 bills out of the airplane and make five people happy!"

The pilot of the jet turns around with frustration and says, "Why don't you both jump out of the airplane and make the whole world happy?!"

"I will give each of you each one wish. That's three wishes total," says the genie.

The Canadian says, "I'm a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."

With a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews, or Americans can come into our precious state."

Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.

"Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick, and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out - it's virtually impenetrable."

Uncle Sam says, "Fill it with water."