News And Politics jokes

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the jewish vote
 
 
I asked a Jew who he was going to vote for as president.

He said, "Well, the last time Jews listened to a bush, they wandered in the desert for 40 years."

morning at the white house
 
 

White House staffers were perplexed one morning to see Bill Clinton walk into the Oval Office with a pair of woman's panties pinned to his arm. Somewhat used to the president's tendencies, they let it go and went about their daily tasks.

As the day wore on, several VIPs were ushered in and out of the Oval Office for meetings with Clinton about important affairs of the state. Each one left with a puzzled expression on his face, but no one dared ask the President's personal business.

Finally, Betty Currie, Clinton's loyal secretary walked into the office between appointments and gently closed the door behind her. "Mr. President," she said.

"We've come to expect many unusual things from you but we're all quite concerned that you seem to be wearing a pair of woman's panties on your arm. Please tell me this doesn't mean more 'trouble'."

"Oh no," the President grinned, "it's the patch. I'm trying to quit."

clinton, bush, and washington...
 
 
Bill Clinton, George Bush and George Washington were on the Titanic.

As the boat was sinking, George Washington heroically shouts, 'Save the women!'

George Bush hysterically screeches, 'Screw the women!'

And Bill Clinton's eyes light up and he says, 'Do we have time?'

sleeping beauty, hercules and don juan
 
 
Sleeping Beauty, Hercules and Don Juan are sitting around a table discussing who the best person in the world is. Sleeping Beauty claims that she is the best because she is the most beautiful person in the world.

Hercules claims that he is the best because he is the strongest person in the world.

Don Juan claims that he is the best because he has loved the most women in the world.

So they decide to go speak to the wise man and see who is the best. They agree to go in alone so as not to be embarassed in front of the others.

Sleepy Beauty goes in first and came out smiling. She says that she truly is the most beautiful person in the world.

Hercules goes in next and also came out smiling. He says that he truly is the strongest person in all the world.

Don Juan goes in last but when he comes out he is very angry and confused. He exclaims,'Who the hell is Bill Clinton?!?'


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