News And Politics jokes

Q: What's the difference between Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky.

A: Close, but no cigar.

Bush and Cheney went hunting, killed a giant buck, and were dragging it by the legs back to their car, when they were approached by a seasoned old hunter.

"Hello, Mr. President, and Vice President. If I may please make a suggestion... it would be much easier for you to drag your deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."

The leaders of the free world thanked the man and tried his suggesion. A while later Cheney said, "You know, that was good thinking. This is a lot easier!"

"Yessir," agreed Bush. "But durn it! We're gettin' farther away from our truck!"

George W. Bush is sitting in a hotel lobby, planning his speech to a group of businessmen, when a man approaches him. "Excuse me, Mr. Bush, but my name is John Tapay, and I'm here with an extremely important client. We're going to see your speech tonight, and it would be a great help to me if when we walk by, you could impress him by saying, 'Hello, John'."

Bush readily agrees, and fifteen minutes later, the man walks by, deep in conversation with his client.

Bush waves and says, "Hello, John!"

The man replies, "Buzz off, Bush! I'm in a meeting," and keeps walking.

George W. Bush, Clinton, and Gore were all in heaven, and the angel said, "You must cross this river and we will judge how much you have sinned based on how far you sink."

Dubya goes first and gets up to his neck, but makes it across. He looks back and sees Al Gore walking on the water. He appeals to the angel saying, "He's sinned as much as I have, what gives?"

The angel says, "He's standing on Clinton's shoulders!"