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gary condit's clock
One day Gary Condit's wife died and went to heaven, and there she met Saint Peter. She started to look around and she noticed there were thousands of clocks everywhere. As she looked over at one it moved she saw that the hand moved just two ticks.

She asked Saint Peter, "Why are there so many clocks in heaven?"

Saint Peter answered, "Well, every time you tell a lie the clock moves one second."

Mrs. Condit said, "I think I get it, but which one is Gary's clock?"

Saint Peter answers, "God has it up in his office, he's using it as a FAN!"

monica's new boyfriend
Monica Lewinsky and her new boyfriend are making love. After they finish having sex, the new boyfriend asks, "Was I as good as Bill?"

"Close, but no cigar.'
bush's winning campaign slogans
1. I'll turn capital punishment into a new game show!

2. I promise to get cocaine off our streets: 1 kilo at a time.

3. I'll finish what Bill started -- the interns.

4. Like father, like son. You liked my dad, right?

5. Vote for the GOP, Not OPP.

6. I promise no sex scandal -- just look at me!

7. New penal plan: I won't use mine!

8. Read my lips: Al Gore Sucks.

9. George W. Bush: No hang-ups. Just hangovers.

10. Vote for Bush and against Common Sense.

gary condit's bad hair days
Why does Gary Condit's hair always stick up?

He's afraid they'll find the body.

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