News And Politics jokes

Why is Clinton having such a hard time deciding what to do with Elian Gonzalez?

Because the last time he decided where to put a Cuban he was almost impeached.

Secretaries Powell and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Powell and Rumsfeld?" The barkeep says, "Yep, that's them." So, the guy walks over to the two and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?" Rumsfeld says, "We're planning World War III," to which the guy replies, "Really? What's going to happen?" Rumsfeld says, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman." And the guy exclaims, "Why are you going to kill a bicycle repairman!?!" With that, Rumsfeld turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 10 million Afghans!"

What's the difference between Al Gore and Elvis?

Some say Elvis is still alive.

A man walks up to the whitehouse and shouts to the guard, "I'd like to speak to Bill Clinton, the President."

The guard replies, "Bill Clinton is no longer the President of the United States. George Bush is the President."

After this happens three days in a row, the guard yells in disgust, "I told you Bill Clinton is no longer the President. George Bush is the President of the United States.

The guy says, "I know. I just like hearing it!"