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He asks the salesmen, "How much?"
The salesman replied, "12 bucks for the rat and 100 bucks for the story."
The tourist says, "I'll just take the rat, thanks."
As soon as the tourist leaves the shop rats started crawling out of the sewers. There were a hundred rats, then a thousand, and then millions.
The tourist was running as fast as he could. He ran to the end of the pier and threw the bronze rat as far out into the lake as he could. All the other rats jumped after it and drowned.
The tourist walked back to the store.
The salesmen says, "Came back for the story, eh?"
The tourist replies, "No but I was wondering, do you have a statue of a Republican?"
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"If you are ferocious in battle, remember to be magnanimous in victory, we go to liberate, not to conquer.
We are entering Iraq to free a people, and the only flag that will be flown in that ancient land is their own. Don't treat them as refugees, for they are in their own country. If there are casualties of war, then remember, when they woke up and got dressed in the morning they did not plan to die this day. Allow them dignity in death. Bury them properly and mark their graves. You will be shunned unless your conduct is of the highest, for your deeds will follow you down history. Iraq is steeped in history. It is the site of the Garden of Eden, of the Great Flood and the birth of Abraham. Tread lightly there."
The US speech :
"When the president says 'Go', look out - it's hammer time"
(followed by "We Will Rock You" at high volume)
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