News And Politics jokes

The doubles said they wanted the good news first, so the advisor said that Saddam had survived the blast. The doubles were greatly relieved.

"Then what's the bad news?" they asked.

"Saddam lost one of his arms," the advisor replied.

After staring out the window with a curious look on his face he turns to Laura and says, "Hey Laura, how about I throw a $100 bill out of the airplane and make a person happy?"

Laura replies, "Well, why don't you just throw two $50 bills out of the airplane and make two people happy?"

George W. thinks about this and replies again with excitement, "I know what I'll do! I'll throw five $20 bills out of the airplane and make five people happy!"

The pilot of the jet turns around with frustration and says, "Why don't you both jump out of the airplane and make the whole world happy?!"

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

All the other Senators demanded that the angry member withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session.

After a long pause, the angry member acquiesced. "OK," he said, "I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"