News And Politics jokes

Clinton's reply : "Shhhhh - just pay it."

• The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving = Not too smart
• As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party = An unwelcome person
• Tighter than bark on a tree = Stingy
• Big hat, no cattle = All talk, no action
• We've howdied but we ain't shook yet = We've met, but haven't been formally introduced
• He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow = He thinks his s#%! doesn't stink
• She's got tongue enough for ten rows of teeth = She's a talker
• It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs = Rain would be nice
• Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly = Appearances can be deceiving
• This ain't my first rodeo = I've been around the block
• He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch = U-G-L-Y
• They ate supper before they said grace = They're living in sin
• Time to paint your butt white and run with the antelope = Stop arguing and do as you're told
• As full of wind as a corn-eating horse = A braggart
• You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn't make them biscuits = You can say whatever you want, but that doesn't change a thing

When she asked St. Peter about the clocks, he replied, 'We have a clock for each person on earth and every time they tell a lie the hands move. The clock ticks off one second each time a lie is told.' Special attention was given to two clocks. The clock belonging to Mother Teresa has never moved, indicating that she never told a lie. The clock for Abraham Lincoln has only moved twice. He only told two lies in his life. Hillary asked 'Where is Bill's clock?'

St. Peter replied, 'Jesus has it in his office... he's using it as a ceiling fan.'

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