News And Politics jokes

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News And Politics


racists and lightbulbs
 
 
How many racists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None -- they don't want to be enlightened!

hail to the...no, wait
 
 
Q: What does the band now play when Clinton enters the room?

A: Kneel to the Chief!
microsoft and a halter top
 
 
What do Microsoft and a halter top have in common?

Both offer very little support!

liar's clocks
 
 
A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day for St. Peter, so upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter says "I'm not very busy today. Why don't you let me show you around?"

The guy thinks it's a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights: the golf course, reading room, library, observation room, cafeteria and, finally, a HUGE room full of clocks.

"What's up with those clocks, Peter?"

"Everyone on earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left on earth. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the Gates to be judged."

The guy thinks this makes sense, but notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. He asks why that is.

"Every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds up his clock." This also makes sense, so the guy takes one last look around the room before leaving and notices one clock in the center of the ceiling. On this clock, both hands are spinning at an unbelievable rate.

"What's the story with that clock?"

"Oh, that," St. Peter replies. "That's Bill Clinton's clock. We decided to use it as a fan."


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