News And Politics jokes

Gary Condit quit politics and got a job at KFC. Why did they fire him?

He couldn't keep his hands off the legs and breasts.

The President was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out "The President Sucks." Infuriated, he called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours, they came to him and told him that there was some bad news and some worse news.

"The bad news is that the urine is from the Vice President."

"Al? How could you do this to me? What could be worse than this?"

"The handwriting's the first lady's."

A reporter remarked to George W. Bush: "It must be something, knowing that you put the Bush legacy back into the oval office."

"Thanks to Bill Clinton," replied George. "Bush never left the office."

An insect falls into a mug of beer.
English Man: Throws his mug of bear on the floor and walks out.
American Man: Takes out the insect and drinks tbe beer.
Chinese Man: Eats the insect and throws the beer.
Indian Man: Sells the insect to the Chinese and the beer to the Englishman and buys himself a new mug of beer.
Pakistani Man: Accuses the Indian of throwing the insect into his mug, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for military aid and takes a loan to buy another mug of beer.