News And Politics jokes

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News And Politics

clinton's music
Q: Why did Bill Clinton give up the saxophone?

A: Because he had a hor-monica.
if microsoft was looking for drivers
If Microsoft built cars you would need to restart your car, then it would perform illegal operations and crash.
clinton abortion bill
Whitehouse aide to Clinton: "What are we gonna do about the new abortion bill, Mr. President?"

Clinton's reply : "Shhhhh - just pay it."

texas talkin'
Here's what the heck they mean in the Lone Star State...
  • The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving = Not too smart
  • As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party = An unwelcome person
  • Tighter than bark on a tree = Stingy
  • Big hat, no cattle = All talk, no action
  • We've howdied but we ain't shook yet = We've met, but haven't been formally introduced
  • He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow = He thinks his s#%! doesn't stink
  • She's got tongue enough for ten rows of teeth = She's a talker
  • It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs = Rain would be nice
  • Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly = Appearances can be deceiving
  • This ain't my first rodeo = I've been around the block
  • He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch = U-G-L-Y
  • They ate supper before they said grace = They're living in sin
  • Time to paint your butt white and run with the antelope = Stop arguing and do as you're told
  • As full of wind as a corn-eating horse = A braggart
  • You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn't make them biscuits = You can say whatever you want, but that doesn't change a thing

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