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Insults


what is grosser than gross?
 
 
A pancake that has fallen on the kitchen floor and you are very hungry for a pancake, but when you pick the pancake up you find the gooey syrup and the creamy butter are like flypaper and so your spongey, yummy pancake is covered in lint, dustmites, a splotch of still-moist mustard from the night before, a broken match, a dirty fingernail, and of course millions of squirming, pulsing bacteria. Also: the pancake now smells like bellybutton, so you puke. But your stomach is empty so you dry heave, and now the pancake is covered in your early morning bile. Anyway, you're so hungry so you eat the pancake.

Man, that is totally gross.

how do you keep a moron busy?
 
 
How do you keep a moron busy?
Look below.
How do you keep a moron busy?
Look above.
yo mama is so poor...
 
 
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her walking down the street with only one shoe, and I asked her if she lost her other shoe and she said, "No, I found one!"
pilot and co-pilot
 
 
A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like the Chinese."

"You don't like the Chinese?" asks the co-pilot, "Why not?"

"You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why!"

"No, no," the co-pilot protests, "The Chinese didn't bomb Pearl Harbor! That was the Japanese."

"Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese...doesn't matter, you're all the same!"

There's a few minutes of silence.

"I don't like Jews!" the co-pilot suddenly announces.

"Why not?" asks the captain.

"The Jews sank the Titanic."

"Jews didn't sink the Titanic!" exclaims the captain, "It was an iceberg!"

"Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, no matter...they're all same!"


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