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Insults


yo mama's so dumb... drunk driving
 
 
Your mama is so dumb when she was pulled over for drunk driving and they asked her to walked the line she said, 'Which one?'
yo mama's so fat.. thong
 
 
Yo' mama so fat, you use her thong as a hammock!
harvard, yale, and urinal etiquette
 
 
A Harvard and Yale Law grad met in a washroom during a law convention.
The Harvard graduate said, "Didn't they teach you to wash your hands at Yale?"
The Yale grad responded, "They taught us not to piss on our hands."
signs you're too fat for your pants
 
 
  1. You've lost the feeling below your ankles.
  2. When you walk you have to waddle like a duck, so you fabricate a story about a knee-injury to dismiss curious onlookers.
  3. When you wake up in the morning you can still see the impression of where your keys were in your pants pocket the night before.
  4. The last time you tried to retrieve your wallet from your back pocket you lost a finger.
  5. Your farts take up to three-and-a-half minutes from start to finish, and produce the sound frequency of a dog whistle.
  6. People ask you questions like, "Are you a professional scuba diver, or do you just wear the gear?"
  7. The last time you sat down, the top button of your pants snapped off with the speed of a hunting rifle, injuring a co-worker.
  8. It takes you forty-five minutes to put them on, even with the aid of a small crane and a power winch.
  9. When you ask for an honest opinion, your spouse tells you your pants look great.
  10. Your name is Al Roker.

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