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Insults


annoying boy on bus
 
 
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, 'If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.'

The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, 'If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.'

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, 'What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!'

The kid smiles and says, 'I would be a bus driver!'

a man walks out of a bar totally hammered...
 
 
A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him.

"You, sir, are drunk!"

"And you ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I will be sober!"

your family is so poor
 
 
Your family is so poor, I flicked a booger on the door and your Mama came out and said: "Clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got meat!"
perspective insult
 
 
I'd like to see things from your perspective, but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

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