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Insults


pilot and co-pilot
 
 
A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like the Chinese."

"You don't like the Chinese?" asks the co-pilot, "Why not?"

"You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why!"

"No, no," the co-pilot protests, "The Chinese didn't bomb Pearl Harbor! That was the Japanese."

"Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese...doesn't matter, you're all the same!"

There's a few minutes of silence.

"I don't like Jews!" the co-pilot suddenly announces.

"Why not?" asks the captain.

"The Jews sank the Titanic."

"Jews didn't sink the Titanic!" exclaims the captain, "It was an iceberg!"

"Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, no matter...they're all same!"

redneck beaver
 
 
You know your a redneck if a beaver bites your nipple off!
move out of my space!
 
 
There were three astronauts an American, a Russian, and a Pollock who were discussing who had the best space program. The Russian says, "We have the best space program. We were the first country to put a satellite into orbit." The American replies, "Thats nothing, we put the first man on the moon." Then the man Pollock says, "No, we are the best, we are going to put the first man on the sun." The Russian and the American arguedm, "Thats not possible you would burn." The Pollock explains, "No, no, we have it all planned out. See we will go at night!"
elevator scene
 
 
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are riding in an elevator. The redhead notices a spot on the elevator wall and says, "That looks like a cum stain!"

The brunette leans over and smells the stain. "Smells like a cum stain too!"

The blonde leans over and licks the spot on the elevator wall, then says, "Yep, but it's nobody from this building."


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