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what's for dinner?
 
 
A concerned husband goes to see the family doctor and says, "I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time I say something, in fact, I often have to repeat things over and over again."

"Well," the doctor replies, "go home and tonight and stand about 15 feet from her and say something. If she doesn't reply, move about five feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so we can get an idea about the severity of her deafness."

Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen and as she is chopping some vegetables, he says, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

He gets no response. He moves about five feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves five feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"

lawyers aren't the only ones to object
 
 
Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives?

A: Their personalities.

moron computer operator
 
 
How can you tell if you have a moron computer operator working for you?

Answer: Find the computer operator using white out on the monitor trying to erase the mistakes.

it ain't margarita
 
 
What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy?
A Dry Martinez!

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