Medical jokes

Q: What do puppies and gynecologists have in common?

A: Wet noses.

Q: Why can't skeletons play music in church?

A: Because they've got no organs.

A guy goes to his doctor because he's been having problems remembering things. After a battery of tests the doctor says, "Unfortunately, I have bad news, and I have very bad news." "What's the very bad news?" the man asks warily. "Well," says the doctor, "our tests show that you have cancer and only have three weeks to live." "Oh, my God!" says the man. "Well, what's the bad news?" "Our tests indicate that you also have Alzheimer's disease," says the doc. "Well, I can always look on the bright side," says the man. "At least I don't have cancer!"

An old man and his daughter go to the doctor for his monthly checkup. During examination, the doctor asks how his nightly incontinence is.

"It's fine," says the old man. "I just get up and go to the bathroom, and God turns on the light for me."

The doctor finishes up the examination, and then calls in the daughter to tell her about the God-light thing.

"Oh, my God!" says the daughter. "He's been using the fridge again!"