Insults jokes

How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room spins around.

What do you call 88 rednecks in an orgy?

A family reunion.

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England." One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in 5 field events in the Olympics." The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States."

How is a man like a snowstorm?
You don't know when it's going to come, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll last.