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martin scorscese is interviewing three ...
 
 
Martin Scorscese is interviewing three action heros for his new movie, they are Arnold Schwarzenneger, Bruce Willis and Sly Stallone. Pitching his movie he says, "This is gonna be an action flick with a twist...all three leads will be famous musical composers."

After some thought all three stars agree it's a new concept for an action flick and decide to get involved. In turn, Scorscese asks each star who they would like to play.

Bruce Willis pipes up first with "I've always wanted to play Mozart..." "Great, great!", enthuses Scorscese, "What about you, Sly?" Stallone thinks awhile and then says,"I've always liked Burt Baccarach's music, I'll be him." "Wonderful, wonderful, Sly", says Scorscese and, turning to Schwarzenneger he says "And how about you, Arnie?" Arnold thinks for a while and after some eye rolling and tutting turns to Scorscese and says.... "I'll be Bach."

bullwinkle
 
 
Q: What are the two main political parties in Canada?

A: Moose and Squirrel

a few good men
 
 
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the post office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm a chiropractor says the man. I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."

"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me."

yo mama's so stupid...
 
 
Yo mama's so stupid, she voted for George Bush, and meant to.

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