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After one day:
First worm - dead
Second worm - dead.
Third worm - dead.
Fourth worm - alive.
Lesson: As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't get worms!
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None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
"No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I cannot use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his rear end.
After the nurse inserted the thermometer, she announced, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"
She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor comes into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor.
Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"
After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Well, no. I guess I haven't. Not with a carnation anyway."
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The man say,s "Alabama." The doctor tells him to go home, put a lit cherry bomb in an empty soda can, hold it in his hand, and count to 10. The husband isn't so sure of this, so he goes to another doctor, this time in California.
When that doctor finds out that the husband is from Alabama, he tells him the exact same thing that the doctor in Ohio told him. The husband figures that the doctors must be right.
So he goes home, puts a lit cherry bomb in a soda can, and starts to count. '1...2...3...4...5...' The husband takes the soda can and puts it between his legs to continue counting on his fingers on his right hand. '6...7...8...9...'
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Trying to read road signs at forty M.P.H.
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