He'd always enjoyed tinkering with engines so thought he'd become a mechanic. So he went along to mechanics school and the final test was to strip the engine completely and reassemble it back into perfect working order. Our gynecologist friend did the test and anxiously awaited his results.
The day he received the results, he got quite a surprise -- he got 150%. He quickly phoned the instructor and asked about the high mark.
The instructor said, "No, that's right. First, I gave you 50% for stripping down the engine -- a very thorough job. Next, I gave you 50% for reassembling it -- a fantastic job really. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the tail pipe."
The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said:
YOU WANKER -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN PIPE!!!
The man say,s "Alabama." The doctor tells him to go home, put a lit cherry bomb in an empty soda can, hold it in his hand, and count to 10. The husband isn't so sure of this, so he goes to another doctor, this time in California.
When that doctor finds out that the husband is from Alabama, he tells him the exact same thing that the doctor in Ohio told him. The husband figures that the doctors must be right.
So he goes home, puts a lit cherry bomb in a soda can, and starts to count. '1...2...3...4...5...' The husband takes the soda can and puts it between his legs to continue counting on his fingers on his right hand. '6...7...8...9...'
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