i ain't 'fraid of no ghost
A very sick man is in the hospital, and on many drugs which give him bowel problems. After many false alarms, he accidentally craps himself.
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Very embarrassed, he balls up the sheets and throws them out the window, where a drunk is staggering on the way home. The drunk starts flailing at the sheets, throwing his arms around wildly. A security officer runs over, hearing the commotion.
"What's going on here?"
"I don't know, officer. But I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost."
yo mama's so fat
Yo' mama so fat, her doctor said she had a flesh-eating disease and told her she had 13 years to live!
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it's quittin' time
A guy went to the doctor to quit smoking, and the doctor gave him a nicotine patch, which he promptly put on his penis. A couple of weeks, he came back to the doctor's.
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"How's it going?" the doctor asked him.
"Great," he replied. "I haven't had a butt in weeks."
army nurse
Q: Did you hear about the army nurse who went to bed eating popcorn?
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A: She woke up with a kernel between her legs.
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