Medical jokes

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army nurse
 
 
Q: Did you hear about the army nurse who went to bed eating popcorn?

A: She woke up with a kernel between her legs.

yo mama's so fat
 
 
Yo' mama so fat, her doctor said she had a flesh-eating disease and told her she had 13 years to live!
third opinion
 
 
Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, 'I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.'

Doctor Fitzpatrick says, 'I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.'

Doctor Ahn says, 'I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.'

i ain't 'fraid of no ghost
 
 
A very sick man is in the hospital, and on many drugs which give him bowel problems. After many false alarms, he accidentally craps himself.

Very embarrassed, he balls up the sheets and throws them out the window, where a drunk is staggering on the way home. The drunk starts flailing at the sheets, throwing his arms around wildly. A security officer runs over, hearing the commotion.

"What's going on here?"

"I don't know, officer. But I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost."


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