Medical jokes

An old man and a old lady went in the doctor's office to get their yearly exam. The doctor came in and started to get some information from them. He then told the old man that he needed to have a stool sample and a urine sample. The old man turned to the old lady and asked her what the doctor said.

"He needs a pair of your underwear."

A man had a bad case of stuttering. He went to many doctors over the years, but none of them could help him. Finally one doctor said to him "I believe I found the reason for your stuttering".

The man asked, "Wha.. wha.. wha..what is my pro.. pro.. problem."

The doctor replied, "Your penis is very, very large. The weight of your penis is causing a strain on your larynx, and this results in your stuttering. The only solution to this is to perform a penis transplant." The man was really tired of his stuttering, so he agreed to a transplant. Several days later the doctor called the man up and informed him that they have found a suitable donor. The transplant operation was successfully performed and the man could speak without any stutter.

At first he was happy, but after a while he began to miss his large penis, and how the girls used to love it. He finally went back to his doctor and said, "Doctor, I am grateful for the opportunity you have given me to speak without a stutter, but I miss my old penis. Please find the transplant donor and tell him that we have to exchange penises back."

The doctor shook his head and replied, "That's im.. im.. im.. impo.. impossible."

Your mama is so nasty, when you said, "Mama, what are we going to have for dinner?"

She stuck out her foot and said, "CORNS".

You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor looked at your mom and said, 'This is going to cost extra if I have to touch its ass.'