Insults jokes

Yo mama is so fat, after your parents have sex, your dad has to hit her in the belly to ride the waves out.

Yo mama's so fat, she applies lip stick with a paint roller.

A blonde walks into Best Buy looking for a television. The salesman walks up to her and tells her that the store does not serve blondes. The next day the blonde walks back into Best Buy with a red wig and asks if she could buy the television, but the salesman says to her again, "We don't serve blondes." Disappointed, the blonde takes off her wig and asks the salesman how he knew she was a blonde. The salesman replies, "Because this is a microwave."

There were three men on death row, a Brit, an American, and a Pollock. They are all set to be put in the electric chair. The Brit gets strapped up first. The executioner asks if he's got any last words to say. The Brit says, "God bless the Queen and England." The executioner proceeds to the switch, but nothing happens. The executioner tells the Brit, that he'll come back for him. He then goes to the chair where the American is strapped down and asks for his last words. The Americian says, "God bless America." The executioner pulls the switch, but again nothing happens. The executioner tells the American to sit tight because he'll be back for him. He then walks over to the Pollock strapped in the seat and asks for his last words. The Pollock replies, "Yes, you forgot to plug the damn thing up, idiot!