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There, he was greeted by George Washington.
"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yelled Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
Patrick Henry came up from behind. "You wanted to end America's liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punched Osama in the nose.
James Madison came next, and said, "This is why I allowed the government provide for the common defense!" He took a sledge hammer and whacked Osama's knees.
Osama was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, and 65 other people who had the same love for liberty and America. As he writhed on the ground, Thomas Jefferson hurled him back toward the gate where he was to be judged.
As Osama awaited his journey to his final very hot destination, he screamed, "This is not what I was promised!"
An angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"
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13> Driving your fellow Congressman into the turnbuckle now considered acceptable method of ending a filibuster.
12> President now shouts entire State of the Union address with his face 18 inches from TV camera.
11> IRS audit replaced by more efficient reverse body slam onto enema.
10> Government becomes a charade of meaningless noises and lots of posturing by a bunch of inarticulate losers with no class or manners-- Hey, wait a minute...
9> Free school lunches destined for the needy instead go to the biggest, meanest, stupidest kid in each school.
8> Sex scandals now involve even skankier women.
7> January 20: Inauguration ceremonies January 21: FDA approves over-the-counter sale of steroids.
6> Newt Gingrich is finally able to wear his mask and cape out of the house.
5> During House debate, it is acceptable to yield to the gentleman wielding a folding chair.
4> Difficult finding interns willing to accommodate an entire pouch of Skoal.
3> Strom Thurmond *finally* removed by The Undertaker.
2> Line to bodyslam Ken Starr winds around Lincoln Memorial.
1> Before: Mr. Vice President After: Stone Cold Cheney
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