News And Politics jokes

During his campaign, George W. Bush and his advisors were discussing spin control on his past drug problems.

"Dubya," said his PR guy, "We've got to know, are the rumors true about your using cocaine in college?"

"It's true," replied Bush, "but it isn't my fault. My parents were rich, and I was born with a silver spoon in my nose."

1) Compassionativity is not a word.
2) Social Security IS a federal program.
3) Benjamin Franklin did NOT invent the light bulb.
4) Trout are not extinct.
5) Brazil DOES have blacks.
6) Speaking is an important part of being president.
7) Our children is learning enough.
8) Fool me once, shame on you... fool me twice, shame on me.
9)Two words... Big Oil.
10) Sanity is an inalieble right.

During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton has brought about the need for an eleventh commandment.

They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten. They began their brain-storming and came up with the 11th.

After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be:

"Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."

How did Helen Keller break her arms?

Trying to read road signs at forty M.P.H.